- Three refutations to Rav Chanina’s ruling of שותק על מנת למיקט
The Gemara brings three successful refutations of Rav Chanina’s ruling, that a husband who is silent to distress his wife may still revoke her neder: Rav Kahana quoted a Baraisa that darshens a passuk to directly teach that שותק על מנת למיקט qualifies as hakamah. Rava presented a challenge from our Mishnah, which taught that he may revoke nedarim on Shabbos because the next day will be too late. According to Rav Chanina, if that silence to distress his wife does not connote hakamah, then certainly if the Rabbis would not allow him revoke on Shabbos, his silence would not effect hakamah. Finally, Rav Ashi challenged him from a Mishnah which teaches that if the husband failed to revoke his wife’s nedarim because he did not know about his ability to revoke them, he may revoke them the day he finds out, because that is considered “the day of his hearing.” If he did not know that a particular neder is able to be revoked, the Chochomim say he can revoke it as well, and Rebbe Meir says he cannot, because knowing generally that he can revoke her nedarim qualifies as a “day of hearing.” According to Rav Chanina, his silence should not be taken as hakamah, since it was a result of his ignorance of his ability to revoke it. Rav Chanina’s ruling is refuted because of these three challenges.
- Machlokes about דברים שיש בהן ענוי נפש
The eleventh Perek begins: ואלו נדרים שהוא מפר – And these are the nedarim that he may revoke, and begins with,דברים שיש בהן ענוי נפש – matters that involve self-affliction. The Tanna Kamma provides an example: אם ארחץ ואם לא ארחץ, אם אתקשט ואם לא אתקשט – If she makes a neder on condition of “If I bathe,” or “if I do not bathe,” or “if I adorn myself,” or “if I do not adorn myself” (the Gemara will discuss the subject of the actual neder), this qualifies as a neder of self-affliction which he may revoke. Rebbe Yose disagrees and does not consider them nedarim of self-affliction and provides his own example: אמרה קונם פירות העולם עלי הרי זה יכול להפר – If she said, “Konam the world’s produce on me,” he may revoke it as a neder of self-affliction. He continues that if she only forbade produce from a certain country or storekeeper, he cannot revoke it, since she can obtain her needs elsewhere.
- Nedarim that are דברים שבינו לבינה are revoked for as long as the wife is fit to be married to her husband
The Gemara asks that the Mishnah implies that he may only revoke nedarim of inuy nefesh, yet a Baraisa teaches: בין איש לאשתו בין אב לבתו – The Torah says about hafarah: “between a man and his wife, between a father and his daughter,” מלמד, שהבעל מפר נדרים שבינו לבינה – this teaches that a husband may revoke nedarim about matters between him and her, meaning affecting their personal relationship. The Gemara initially answers that the Mishnah means that only nedarim of inuy nefesh are revoked forever, but nedarim involving their relationship are only revoked for the duration of their marriage. If he divorces her, the nedarim would come back into effect. The Gemara refutes this from a Mishnah which demonstrates that even these nedarim remain revoked after divorce, and answers instead: Our Mishnah means that nedarim of inuy nefesh are revoked forever, whether she can ever return to this husband or not. Nedarim involving their personal relationship, however, are revoked for as long as she is fit to be married to this husband (meaning even if she was divorced, she can return to him). After she marries someone else, which disqualifies her from returning to the first husband, the nedarim then come back into effect.
