Zichru Daf Simanim
Kiddushin - Daf 41
  • האיש מקדש בו ובשלוחו, מצוה בו יותר מבשלוחו

The second Perek begins: האיש מקדש בו ובשלוחו – A man can marry a woman himself, or through his shaliach. האשה מתקדשת בה ובשלוחה – A woman can receive kiddushin herself, or through her shaliach. From the Mishnah’s mentioning the man’s ability to be mekadesh himself, which is obvious, Rav Yosef infers: מצוה בו יותר מבשלוחו – it is a greater mitzvah for him to be mekadesh a woman himself than through his shaliach. Similarly, we find that Rav Safra would personally singe the head of the animal, and Rava would personally salt the fish, to prepare them for their Shabbos meals. In another version, the Gemara says that it is forbidden for a man to marry through a shaliach without seeing the woman, because he may discover something unpleasant in her afterwards and become repulsed with her, thereby violating "ואהבת לרעך כמוך" – You shall love your fellow as yourself. Rather, Rav Yosef’s taught regarding a woman accepting kiddushin, that it is a greater mitzvah for her to accept it herself than through a shaliach. She is permitted to use a shaliach, because even if she has not seen him, she would accept him as he is, as Reish Lakish said: טב למיתב טן דו מלמיתב ארמלו – it is better to live married as two together than to live alone.

  • The source for shelichus: גירושין, תרומה, and פסח

The Gemara asks: שליחות מנלן – From where do we know the concept of shelichus? A Baraisa teaches regarding divorce: "ושלח" – and he sends, מלמד שהוא עושה שליח – this teaches that he can appoint a shaliach to deliver the get. By saying "ושלחה" – and he sends her, מלמד שהיא עושה שליח – this teaches that she can appoint a shaliach to receive the get. Appointing a shaliach for kiddushin is derived from a hekesh with divorce (ויצאה והיתה). The Gemara then provides a source for appointing a shaliach to separate terumah: the passuk says "גם אתם" – you also [shall separate terumah], לרבות את השליח – this is to include your shaliach, who can separate terumah for you. A source is then given for appointing a shaliach to shecht the korban pesach: ושחטו אותו כל קהל עדת ישראל בין הערבים – And the entire congregation of Yisroel shall slaughter it in the afternoon. Since a korban pesach is not shechted by multiple people, but by one member of each group, we learn ששלוחו של אדם כמותו – that the shaliach of a person is like himself.

  • מה אתם בני ברית אף שלוחכם בני ברית

The Gemara explains that the principle of shelichus needed to be taught by divorce and korban pesach and could not have been derived from the others. However, shelichus by terumah can be derived from the other two with a צד השוה. If so, why did the Torah need to write "גם אתם"? The Gemara answers that it is for the derashah of Rebbe Yannai: מה אתם בני ברית אף שלוחכם בני ברית – Just as you are members of the covenant (to keep the Torah), so too your sheluchim must be members of the covenant, but a gentile cannot be a shaliach. The Gemara asks that there is a general requirement that one must be subject to a law to serve as a shaliach for it (which disqualifies an עבד כנעני from serving as a shaliach for a get, since he cannot marry or divorce), so why is a passuk needed to exclude a gentile from serving as a shaliach for terumah? It answers that a Mishnah teaches a gentile is subject to terumah: העובד כוכבים והכותי שתרמו תרומתן תרומה – An idolator or a Cusi who separated terumah from their crops, their terumah is considered terumah (and forbidden to a non-Kohen).

Siman – Grandma. The Grandma with the fancy diamond earrings, who was so incensed that a shaliach was sent to be mekadesh her granddaughter, since מצוה בו יותר מבשלוחו, and that he was in a rush to go and deliver a get, take some terumah, and shecht a korban pesach on behalf of others, that she made him show her his birth certificate to prove he was a בן ברית, and not ineligible to do shelichus as a goy.

Rabbi Avraham Goldhar

Rabbi Avraham Goldhar has been designing and teaching Jewish literacy courses for over thirty years. His knowledge frameworks for Biblical mastery, Jewish History, Talmudic Law & Jewish Holidays enable students of all backgrounds to better integrate Jewish concepts and learn systematically. After serving as the Educational Director of Aish HaTorah New York, Avraham launched GoldharSchool.com, Home of Big Picture Jewish Education, featuring Jewish literacy content for schools and individuals. He is the developer of the Goldhar Method, a revolutionary learning system that integrates memory into the learning process and has trained over 80,000 students, teachers and professionals. He lectures internationally on the topic of academic mastery and the solutions required to raise the bar in education. Avraham learned in Aish HaTorah, Mir, and Chaim Berlin and received his ordination under the tutelage of Rabbi Yitzchok Berkovits in Jerusalem.